Everything starts out with a first date. For some guys, the first date is a great opportunity to feel out what a woman is like. For others, it’s nerve wracking. Generally, most guys fall somewhere in between, and once you get past the first date, it’s still an ongoing process to figure out where you stand with a woman. Ladies are always looking to make a good impression, just like us, when they meet a man for the first time. But what happens after that? If you really like a woman, you’re attracted to her, and you legitimately enjoy her company beyond a hookup, there comes a time in every man’s life when he has to decide what’s going to happen.
Commitment. It’s not the easiest word to swallow, and not every guy is ready for it. Some men just aren’t interested in it at all, which is fine, too. Women usually are, though, and once you’ve been dating for a while, she’s going to expect you to eventually make the call. How do you know, though? Experts say that if you’re progressing in your life by learning and growing as a person, but your girlfriend isn’t, she might be holding you back, according to HuffingtonPost.com. Here are a few deciding factors you should take into account when you’re deciding which way to go when the big commitment question arises.
How It Starts
You might be wondering when you can expect to encounter this terrifying situation. The real answer is that every woman is different, but the most useful answer is when you find yourself doing important things together. For example, when you first go out on a date, you might have five other dates lined up the same week because you discovered how to date online. That’s fine, but when you start to gravitate toward one woman and you’re not dating around as much, that’s a sign that she’s taking it as precedent. Whether or not you realize you’re scaling back your busy dating schedule, it happens.
Another sign that you’re starting down the LTR path is if you hang out with her in casual clothes. Guys that still get dressed up to go out on the town, looking to meet up with some fine ladies, aren’t at the LTR stage with anyone they’re dating. They’re out for action, so if you’re one of those guys, you probably don’t have to worry about facing this question yet. On the other hand, if you’re spending time watching TV with your girlfriend and wearing sweatpants twice a week, you’re getting comfortable. You don’t spend time with women dressed in slouchy, regular clothes unless they’re LTR material. It means you’re comfortable with her, but do you want to go there?
Signs That It’s on Her Mind Too
One of the most important things to remember is that this is going to be on her mind before you even think it’s an issue. Women can sniff out LTR potential like a voracious mutt with a shank of beef, even if you know how to date online and find women whose behavior you think is predictable. Trust us, they’re born with the skill. It’s when she starts to drop hints, though, that you know you’re going to have to face the music. One thing women love to do is invite you to special occasions that are more personal or relationship-oriented to see what you’ll do. It’s like their twisted version of a litmus test. Sometimes, if you join the wrong online dating sites, like Mingle2.com, you’ll also just meet the wrong type of women who aren’t up front about what they want.
When we say “big events,” we mean family parties, weddings, christenings, holidays – basically anything where someone is going to ask how long you’ve been together. If you’re out at the club with your lady friend, no one is going to ask if you’re dating. That’s not the scene for it. If you’re at her family’s house for a barbeque, people are going to wonder. Before you go and get blindsided, just remember that the moment you start getting invitations like that, it’s on her mind.
Preparing for the Moment of Truth
Once you know she’s thinking about it, you have to decide how you actually feel about the whole thing. Preparations are all well and good, so that you’re not taken by surprise, but essentially, the most important outcome here is what you actually want to do. We can warn you about what to expect, but it’s each individual guy’s decision whether to get serious with a woman. If you like hanging out with her and she can have fun, those are good signs, but that’s a whole different set of pointers and advice. Romance is unpredictable, and it might turn out she’s hiding bodies in a secret walk-in freezer, like some of the weirder women we’ve met on Mingle2.com. It might turn out you marry her. You never know, but the important thing is to know it’s coming, and have your answer prepared and ready. You can even write down a series of talking points that will help you if you get stuck. Sometimes it’s easier to deal with things if you break them down for yourself.
Also bear in mind that if she corners you and the question arises, it’s do or die. If you say you’re not interested in getting serious, you’re done. It doesn’t matter what she says. If the issue comes up, and you reject the LTR, it’s over. There’s no way to avoid it coming up, either. It just does – no man has ever avoided the LTR question unless it was established from day one that you were both just in it for a casual hookup, even if you figure out how to date online and find ladies there. Try to have some idea of what you want before she springs it on you. Also, make sure that you are on a legit dating site. Visit datingsitetests.ca to learn more about legit dating site like mingle2.com.
How It Will Come Up
It’s going to come up randomly. That’s how women are. If she’s really logical, she might say she has “something to talk about” or ask if you can “talk,” but that also might be warning signs that she wants to break up. You never know. More likely than not, though, she’s going to turn to you during an awesome scene in a movie and ask if you want to move in together. Don’t get caught right in the middle of cheering on Iron Manand thinking about how hot Pepper Potts is, to suddenly having to answer whether or not you mind if the curtains are pink. The LTR question will arrive like a giant tidal wave that annihilates your peace and relaxation, but as long as you’re ready, you don’t have anything to fear.
Of course, there’s also the option of bringing it up yourself, although we don’t recommend that unless it hits critical mass. For example, if you’re dealing with a woman who hates confrontation or straightforward discussion, but she asks if you want to spend the night every night for the rest of your life with the caveat that “it works for your schedule,” that’s when it’s time to get real. Any other situation, though, if you can avoid being the one to bring it up, let her do it. Just be prepared.